Uncommon Sense: Build relationships, avoid wasting precious time

We've all heard the old cliche "Time is a Thief". Anyone who has ever raised children can tell you that this is, indeed, correct. Time continually marches on while we are trying to get through the day-to-day obligations: feeding our children, finding them something to wear to school, breaking up sibling fights, getting teeth and hair brushed, class projects, just to name a few. What eventually happens is we look up and our babies are seniors and getting ready to head off "into the world". If we've done our job properly we have effectively worked ourselves out of a job and we now see smart, secure, confident individuals standing where once a tow-headed, dirty-faced, bare-foot child stood.

Another cliche you might have heard is "The days are long but the years are short". This, too, is true! For the majority of us, our children spend 14 years in public education before we turn them loose in the world. During those 14 years these wonderful children spend the majority of the days from August to May in the care of someone else - their teacher(s). These teachers provide them with learning opportunities, enriching experiences, and a lot of fun. They may offer extra-curricular opportunities where the child grows in leadership ability, athletic prowess, and/or human relationships.

As the proud mother of two MHS graduates, I know, firsthand, how long the days are but how short the years seem. I can tell you first-hand how quickly high school flies after you survive the middle school years! And, I can tell you I'd do it all again, even the middle school years, in a heartbeat. Because raising good, productive children is the most important job we can do for this world, it is so important to forge a strong bond with your child's teacher(s) and principal(s). The front office staff can be such an invaluable contact for you as you navigate the school year, and if you haven't done so yet, introduce yourself.

Of course, there will be bumps and knocks in each school year, but if you've taken the time to get to know your child's teacher/principal those can be easily managed because you've developed a relationship. I can confidently assure you NO ONE works at a school so she/he can be mean to children. Every one of our faculty/staff chose to work in education because they want to affect the future - your children.

When your child has a bad day at school, reassure them it won't last forever. If you feel it is important to discuss with the teacher/principal, call and schedule a time to visit. Let's work together to make the time you do have the most effective it can be. And if the time comes when you have to hear unpleasant news about your child, please understand that the teacher/principal doesn't enjoy sharing bad news, but it's what's best for your child. Lashing out at the teacher/principal is never a productive strategy - for you or your child.

I read recently that as parents we have 18 Christmases with our child in our house, 16 years before they drive, 14 years of school, and 6 years of teenage issues. It really isn't long when we look at it that way. Don't spend what precious time you have angry at the school or your child's teacher/principal. Make room for conversation, possibly hard truths, and support from the place your child spends most days from August to May. We don't have time to waste!

*Brenda Parker-Tillian is Assistant Superintendent of Marlow Public Schools. Supt. Corey Holland suggested she write this week's column.